The holidays are here and it’s about family, friends and loved ones. I have encountered different experiences every holiday. I usually runaway from them all. This holiday, my friends have told me to stay in San Antonio and I am not sure if it was the best decision. I am still trying to figure it out. Since I will be spending my holidays with Joelle, I find that I am going to a family that is loving. My dad’s wife has only pushed me to the limits of leaving. I can’t stand her and her creepy ways. *If you are reading this, good for you. Thanks for watching me as I am getting into my car and starring me down as I get into my friend’s cars.* Besides the fact, I am surround myself with people who I love because there are not good people in this world and I am leaving to a new college, in a new city (close to Robby, best friend), staying in touch with those who I love dearly (MY CAROLINE) and working with inspiring people (India).
I woke up this morning and had knots in my stomach because I know I am not making every one happy. I am tired of trying to make everyone happy. It’s making me so sad to please everyone. I feel like I am hiding all the time. It feels like there is someone watching my every move and the judgment is beginning to eat me alive.
My life isn’t a hard life, I have a very privileged life but we all have different problems and situations. We feel like we know what is best for everyone but ourselves. I am exhausted from this pressure of what is right and wrong. I am overdrawn with the sense of people. I don’t care if you’re pregnant and dumb. I don’t care if you “think” you know what is going to happen. I don’t care if you want to waste your energy hating me because I loved someone who fooled us all. I don’t care if you don’t like me because I am young and reckless. I just don’t care any more. I am on a mission to take over the world and I have a heart sometimes but I know what I am doing.